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M"other" Hood

What does motherhood even mean? Why did we decide to have children? Why did everything all of a sudden change once the head popped out? It feels like so many demands are placed on Mothers. We break our necks trying to give our children the life we always wanted and they scoff at it! 

What the fucking shit man? You know what I mean. When you spend hours planning a party, an outing, or debating on which toy to buy them in hopes of seeing the look of sheer surprise and over appreciation on their face only to be met with indifference. Or excitement for about 5 minutes. My husband says I should stop calling myself the kid's slave. But that's what it is. I'm the live in butler. Molly the made. Aj the slave. Do they appreciate me? Sometimes I look into their tiny eyes and they have any idea how much I love them? How much I stress and prep and study on how to be an amazing mom?

They'll never know. Until they have kids of their own, but that's not for another 25 years! It's not just that. It's the demands,, these unspoken demands that are placed on us moms. Like we're expected to be fucking Superman. Teach them manners. Teach them alphabets. Teach them numbers. Feed them well rounded meals. Do a nighttime routine. Hours of playtime. And so on. And most of us do ALL of that on a daily. Most of us are fucking killing it in the mom game only to be criticized on our style of parenting. It's some unspoken rule that Moms should be Mother Teresa.

Fuck that shit! I'm still me. I was a ball of fun before children and I'll be on with children. I refuse to lose myself to being a mother. It's like a work of art. I'm like a work of art. And every journey is an added layer to myself. Sometimes, most times, I don't read bedtime stories. Why? Because I fucking hate it that's why. I'd rather watch bedtime movies.

And what about meals? It's a miracle to get them to eat. So why am I stressing about WHAT they eat? Fucking throw some chips on a plate and have them wash it down with a GREEN smoothie. Make it sweet so they'll drink it and BOOM veggies and fruit for the day. 

Bottom line is you have your children for such a short time. Then they'll be adults where they'll decide what THEY want to do with their life. If you're lucky they'll be responsible and self reliant. Or they can totally fuck up their life and need you for MORE guidance. Either way your job as raising them is such a short time. Why not have fun with it and enjoy the ride? Loosen up. If you fuck up, admit it and move on and do better next time. Remember not to lose yourself because when they leave you are all you're going to have.